Sometimes in relationships, you have to take baby steps rather than diving all in, but not everyone follows that guideline. On Tuesday, September 6, episode of Married at First Sight, the three couples struggled to move their relationships forward at the appropriate pace — and for one couple, that possibly meant not moving forward at all.
Derek and Heather Ponder an Early Divorce
Back from their honeymoon, Derek Schwartz, and Heather Seidel spent some time apart as each of them debriefed with friends about whether to walk away or give their marriage another go. "It's hard trying to communicate with someone who doesn't want to communicate back," Derek lamented, while Heather admitted that she was "so mad" she could hardly think straight. For the most part, their friends encouraged them to stick with it a bit longer. Derek was on board, but Heather… not so much.
Derek revealed that he had texted Heather to reopen the lines of communication, but her response had been short, so he was not optimistic. "I don't want to be a quitter, but at the same time we're also strangers," Heather noted with a look of sheer disgust on her face.
Lillian Wants Kids — Like, Yesterday
Meanwhile, there might finally be some trouble in paradise for Lillian Vilchezand Tom Wilson. When Lillian's sister asked Lillian and Tom to babysit her daughter, it sparked a heated discussion between the spouses about kids. "I'm just not ready to start talking about our future with kids, even if it is other people's kids," Tom said to the camera. As for babysitting, he admitted he wasn't "stoked" about it, and said he "never really imagined" himself even having kids. Also, apparently just thinking about kids made his brain rattle.
Lillian, however, knew she wanted kids and wanted them relatively soon, so Tom's apathy toward the topic immediately stressed her out. She explained that her "big picture" was to form a family, and if he wasn't interested, it would be a "dealbreaker." That term rubbed Tom the wrong way as he asked, "Is she willing to throw everything else away because of that one aspect that I'm unsure about?"
He argued, "Talking about having kids with someone you've known for two weeks is kind of weird." According to expert Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Tom had a point.
Schwartz explained to Lillian that Tom's approach to things was "incremental, not instant," and advised Lillian to slow down a bit. Lillian recognized that the expert's advice was directed much more toward her than her husband, but wasn't offended because she said she realized that women are "crazy."
It turned out, however, Tom was better with kids than he claimed. Yes, he called toddlers "a--holes," but he was a natural with Lillian's niece (who was a bit older than a toddler, for full disclosure). Lillian was extremely impressed with Tom's babysitting skills and ended up feeling secure in their future once again. Crisis averted!
Sonia and Nick Still Haven't Had Sex, and Sonia Isn't Happy About It
Though Lillian and Tom were having some strained exchanges, they weren't alone. Sonia Granados seemed to finally be reaching her limit with Nick Pendergrast's lack of affection. Nick argued he wanted their intimacy to be "organic," while Sonia claimed things between them were "a little weird." Further, she accused Nick of being "closed off" and not communicating enough with her (either in the bedroom or out).
"We haven't had sex," she said, not happy about it. "Maybe it's because of the dogs." She then revealed that at 4 a.m. she had moved to a different bedroom because she didn't like sleeping with the dogs, but it was obvious Nick was beyond clueless that she was unhappy.
During separate meetings with Dr. Schwartz, Sonia said on a scale of 1 to 10, their marriage was a 5. Nick said it was an 8. When the doctor pressed Nick further, however, he admitted that Sonia's relationship with his dogs was "not so good," but he hadn't done much to try to improve things. When — on Dr. Schwartz's urging — Sonia told Nick how much the dogs bothered her, Nick promised to kick them out of the bed. It was a baby step toward intimacy, but a step just the same.
Of course, for every step forward, they took two steps back. While trying to make good on an assignment from Schwartz that was meant to build intimacy, Nick and Sonia got in a huge fight. Nick was supposed to touch Sonia as part of the exercise, and he announced that he was not going to touch her boob. (To be clear, that was not part of the exercise, so it didn't seem like Sonia was expecting or encouraging him to do that.) In addition to touching Sonia, he had to tell her something he appreciated about her. He said, "What I appreciate about you is your ability to overlook my lack of communication."
Sonia didn’t find that answer nearly as charming as he'd hoped, and encouraged him to really open up, for real. Nick responded by snapping, "I think you're an awesome person, but am I in love with you? No." Sonia was a combination of stunned and irate.
"Where is this coming from?" she asked the camera. "I have absolutely no idea why he would say that! Why would you tell me you're not in love with me? Have I ever told you I was in love with you? Have I ever alluded that I was in love with you?"
She sprang out of the hammock they were snuggling on. "It was nice chatting with you," she said sarcastically as she ran away to cry alone.
Will Derek and Heather Get a Divorce?
It was finally the moment of truth for Derek and Heather, who met again with Pastor Calvin Roberson to discuss whether they had decided to stay together or get a (premature) divorce. Derek restated his desire to try again, while Heather snapped that she didn't want to deal "with this type of s--t anymore."
Roberson asked Heather to consider if it was possible that she was missing out on an incredible man. Heather's face said she didn't think so.
Roberson then pointed out that when Heather had told Derek his smoking bothered her, Derek had promptly stopped — and Heather reiterated that after that, Derek started accusing her of flirting with the surf instructor. In other words, she was unhappy about a lot of things. Derek said he wanted to stay married, and … the episode ended before Heather gave her answer.