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Showing posts with label metoo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label metoo. Show all posts

Dear men: In the wake of #metoo, these are the new rules. #someone's opinion






Dear men,
In wake of the #metoo movement, I’d like to lay down some ground rules and advice on interacting with women. Think of this as a little present in the form of a road-map made especially for you, crafted by your very own friendly neighbourhood feminist.
Listen up, because it turns out that rapists aren’t a big hit with the ladies.

1. Do not touch me.

Do not touch me, for any reason unless you have my explicit, vocalised permission to do so (medical professionals etc). If you touch me, I will interpret this as a sexual advance. There is no reason why you would ever need to touch a woman you encounter or work with in your day-to-day life. If you are CPR-trained, you legally have the assumed-consent of an unconscious person to perform this procedure on them.
Otherwise, do not touch my hair, arm, face, butt, shoulders, neck, breasts, or hips. If you are a close friend or family member, this does not necessarily mean I want to be hugged or kissed by you. If you are unsure, it is best to wait until I initiate this. If I don’t initiate, keep your distance. If you do not want to be touched, I will grant you this same respect.

2. Don’t assume.



If I consent to be your girlfriend, this does not mean I have consented to you owning me or my body. If I want to go on a date with you, that does not mean I want to kiss you. If I want to kiss you, that does not mean I want your dirty fingers pushing their way inside me when I’m not even wet (ugh), and so forth.
Please don’t ever assume anything.
Always ask, “Can I … “, “Is it okay if I…” or “I want to…” It saves you from accidentally assaulting me, and plus it makes great dirty talk! If you refuse to communicate, you are not mature enough to be having sex.

3. Do not try to pick me up.

Do not try to pick me up in a public place. I am not looking for sex whilst I am grocery shopping, on the train, at the gym, waiting for a bus, trying to do my job, getting a new passport, at a work conference or walking my dog.
If I invite you via Facebook, along with a hundred others, to volunteer your time campaigning for marriage equality or supporting new refugees to Australia at a large event I’m running, that does not mean I want to have sex with you.
When has a girl ever responded positively to you honking your horn or yelling “get your tits out!” from a car window? Never. Please don’t do it, it makes me feel unsafe, embarrassed and uncomfortable.

4. Don’t ridicule woman for not wanting sex.

Please, for the love of god, do not ridicule queer women and their appearance for the simple crime of not wanting to have sex with you and not dressing to please you. Actually, don’t ridicule any women for this, full stop

5. Do not victim blame.

If you hear a woman telling her story of sexual assault or harassment, please do not automatically think they are lying or try to tell them what their own experiences are.
Also, please do not lecture or advise women on how best to fight harassment e.g. critiquing them for “asking for it” or “not sticking up for themselves enough.” Your energy would be much better spent calling out your male friends on bad behaviour than trying to control the shape that contemporary feminism takes. This is something we need you to support but never lead.
What I’m saying may seem glaringly obvious to some (if that’s you, refer to Rule 5, specifically the point how to spend your energy). However, I’ve spelt out these basic social niceties because every single one of them have been broken by men I have encountered in my life, who have felt that this is an acceptable way to routinely behave and treat me.
It’s not.
Happy non-harmfully interacting with women!
Regards,
Jacqueline.


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Jennifer Lopez talks about her own Me Too story: 'I was terrified'




Jennifer Lopez is getting real about experiencing sexual harassment in Hollywood.
When asked about the Time's Up movement in an interview with Harper's Bazaar, the multi-hyphenate performer opened up about an incident early in her acting career.
“I haven’t been abused in the way some women have," Lopez says. "But have I been told by a director to take off my shirt and show my boobs? Yes, I have. But did I do it? No, I did not.” 
Lopez, 48, says she recalls fear about speaking up about the director's request.
“When I did speak up, I was terrified," she says. "I remember my heart beating out of my chest, thinking, ‘What did I do? This man is hiring me!’"
"It was one of my first movies. But in my mind I knew the behavior wasn’t right," Lopez says. "It could have gone either way for me. But I think ultimately the Bronx in me was like, ‘Nah, we’re not having it.’”
Lopez has been a vocal part of the Time's Up movement, speaking out about sexual misconduct ahead of the 2017 Golden Globes during a speech in Puerto Rico, where she was contributing to relief efforts after hurricanes Irma and Maria devastated the island.
"A lot of the women with #TimesUp are standing up for equality, to be treated equally and for sexual harassment," Lopez says in a video posted to her Instagram. "I stand here today in black doing the same from far away. And it's the same thing here in Puerto Rico: We want to be treated equally."


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California Democrat and #MeToo leader accused of grabbing and groping a male staffer

A California Democrat who was featured in Time magazine’s Person of the Year issue for her role in the anti-sexual harassment “#MeToo” movement has been accused of drunkenly groping a male legislative staffer at a softball game in 2014.
Assemblywoman Cristina Garcia allegedly stroked the then-25-year-old staffer’s back, tried to squeeze his buttocks and attempted to grab his crotch as he walked away from her. 
The staffer, Daniel Fierro, worked for Assemblyman Ian Calderon at the time. He did not immediately report the incident but in January told Calderon, also a Democrat, who reported it to Assembly leaders.
Garcia was “clearly inebriated” during the 30- to 35-second episode, Fierro said.




“Her hand was there and it slipped down to my butt and she tried to squeeze," Fierro added.
The Assembly is now investigating Garcia. Assembly Speaker Anthony Rendon, a Democrat, said in a statement he is directing human resources to reach out to Garcia's staff to make sure they feel safe.
Separately, Politico reported that a lobbyist who declined to be named claimed Garcia made crude sexual comments and tried to grab his crotch at a 2017 fundraiser.
"Every complaint about sexual harassment should be taken seriously and I will participate fully in any investigation that takes place," Garcia, a Los Angeles-area lawmaker, said Thursday. "I have zero recollection of engaging in inappropriate behavior and such behavior is inconsistent with my values."
Fierro said he decided to tell Calderon about the incident because of Garcia's outspokenness in the #MeToo movement. He was reportedly interviewed last Friday by an outside law firm hired by the Assembly Rules Committee.
Garcia was elected in 2012 and has carved out a name as a champion of women's issues and environmental health for poor communities and chairs the Women's Caucus.
"I refuse to work with (Assemblyman Raul Bocanegra) and anyone who takes part in harassment or assault," she tweeted in October after it was reported Bocanegra had been disciplined in 2009 for groping a colleague. Bocanegra later resigned after more women made public accusations.
In a November interview with the Associated Press about alcohol-fueled fundraisers and other after-work events that are a part of regular business in Sacramento, Garcia said blaming alcohol isn't an acceptable excuse for sexually inappropriate behavior. It's men who choose to misbehave, not the social events themselves, that create the problems, she said.
"I would say that most of the public realizes that our job is based on relationships, and so we are expected to go out there and socialize," she said. "I think our public also expects us to hold ourselves to a higher standard."
The Assembly committee said last week that eight allegations of sexual harassment are pending in the Assembly but did not divulge any names.
Fierro, of Cerritos, left the Assembly in 2016 and now runs a communications firm. Calderon, his former boss, is now the majority leader. Lerna Shirinian, Calderon's communications director, said Fierro told her about the incident right after it happened.
"He was in shock, I was in shock — but the culture was very different back then," Shirinian told Politico.
The Associated Press contributed to this report.















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Cinema Icon From France, Catherine Deneuve Agrees men sexual harassment allegations has gone to far


French cinema icon Catherine Deneuve has attacked the "puritanism" triggered by the recent surge of sexual harassment allegations, arguing men should be "free to hit on" women.

The Oscar-nominated 74-year-old actress, best known internationally for playing a bored housewife who spends her afternoons as a prostitute in the 1967 film Belle du Jour, is among about 100 French female writers, performers, and academics who have signed an open letter published by the newspaper Le Monde.

It said that campaigns like #MeToo and its French equivalent #Balancetonporc (Call out your pig) that have stemmed from the Harvey Weinstein scandal have gone too far and threaten hard-won sexual freedoms.

"Legitimate protests against the sexual violence that women are subject to, particularly in their professional lives", had turned into a"'witch-hunt", it claimed.

"Rape is a crime, but trying to seduce someone, even persistently or clumsily, is not - nor is men being gentlemanly a macho attack," the letter said.

"Men have been punished summarily, forced out of their jobs when all they did was touch someone's knee or try to steal a kiss."

Men had been dragged through the mud, they insisted, for "talking about intimate subjects during professional dinners or for sending sexually-charged messages to women who did not return their attentions".

"What began as freeing women up to speak has today turned into the opposite - we intimidate people into speaking 'correctly', shut down those who don't fall into line, and those women who refused to bend" to the new realities "are regarded as complicit and traitors", they said.

"Instead of helping women, this frenzy to send these (male chauvinist) 'pigs' to the abattoir actually helps the enemies of sexual liberty - religious extremists and the worst sort of reactionaries," the women asserted.

"As women we do not recognise ourselves in this feminism, which beyond denouncing the abuse of power, takes on a hatred of men and of sexuality."

They insisted that women were "sufficiently aware that the sexual urge is by its nature wild and aggressive. But we are also clear-eyed enough not to confuse an awkward attempt to pick someone up with a sexual attack."

It is not the first time Deneuve has slammed social media campaigns to shame men accused of harassing women.

"I don't think it is the right method to change things, it is excessive," she said last year. "After 'Calling out your pig' what are we going to have, 'Call out your whore?'"

Actress Rose McGowan, who claims she was raped by Weinstein (which he denies), tweeted in response: "THIS IS NOT A WITCH HUNT."

The letter comes after Hollywood stars offered a show of support for the #MeToo movement at the Golden Globes on Monday by dressing in black and making powerful speeches tackling sexual harassment and gender inequality.















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Sexual Assault Movement Hashtag #MeToo Has Garnered Nearly 500,000 Tweets


Alyssa Milano wrote on Twitter Sunday afternoon that sharing #MeToo as a social media status "might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem" of sexual harassment and sexual assault.

In the nearly 24 hours since Alyssa Milano called on women to share their personal experiences with sexual harassment or sexual assault, the hashtag #MeToo has has been tweeted nearly a half a million times, a Twitter spokeswoman confirmed on Monday. 





Milano, who recently appeared in Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later on Netflix, tweeted on Sunday afternoon that, in the wake of the sexual assault allegations against Harvey Weinstein, a friend suggested that writing "Me too" as a status "might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem." She also posted the message on Facebook.
Thousands of women, including Will & Grace star Debra Messing, Orphan Black's Tatiana Maslany and True Blood's Anna Paquin, responded by posting the phrase on Twitter or Facebook. By Sunday night, #MeToo was a top nationwide trend on Twitter.
It's likely that well above one million women and men shared the message on Twitter, but the social network currently has only measured the number of people who use the #MeToo hashtag. 
Milano's original tweet has been liked more than 32,000 times and retweeted 16,000 times. The Facebook post has received 2,500 reactions, 2,000 shares and 500 comments. 
See some of the Hollywood voices who have posted the phrase and are supporting the movement below.













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