Relationships should be built on honesty—but that doesn't always mean you have to air every thought you have. Sometimes, if a piece of information isn't useful to someone and can only hurt them, it's better to keep it to yourself.
How do you know when to disclose something and when to keep your mouth shut? If something you're keeping from your partner is weighing on your conscience, that's usually a sign you should tell them. "Anything you wouldn't keep from your best friend, you shouldn't keep from your significant other," says psychotherapist Crystal Rice, LGSW.
However, there are a few situations when there's really no need to share what's on your mind. Here are a few things that are fine to keep from your significant other—and may actually be better off kept to yourself.
1. You think the coffee-shop guy is hot If someone poses a threat to your relationship, that's obviously something to address. But if you just think someone's cute, your S.O. may not want to know—and they don't have to, says Rice: "The question you should ask yourself in these potentially hurtful scenarios is 'What will be gained by telling him/her about this?'"
2. You hate his mom's cooking If your partner's parents are intrusive or disrespectful, that's worth bringing up. But if you don't like his mom's lasagna or dad's never-ending stories, you can let it go, says psychotherapist Barbara Neitlich, LCSW. People can be sensitive to criticism of their parents, and if your issues with his 'rents are limited to these minor grievances, you're one of the lucky ones.
3. He would bomb on *The Voice* If your S.O. loves to sing but is cringeworthy to hear during karaoke or likes to join in your family's Scrabble games but can't spell for his life, he doesn't need to be told that. In fact, he probably does kind of know it and don't need you to reinforce any insecurities, says Neitlich.
4. His high school best bud is annoying If a friend of your partner is mistreating you or you feel pressure to be around them but can't stand it, it might be time to speak up. But if you just find one of your S.O.'s friends annoying and don't need to see them all that often, tread lightly when voicing your opinion of them. Bringing it up could "make your partner feel uncomfortable and give him the underlying message that he has to align with one side or another," says Neitlich.
5. You were hit on last night As long as nothing came of it, your S.O. doesn't need to know about that guy who tried to pick you up while you were out with your girlfriends, says Neitlich. And if it'll make him unnecessarily jealous, it's definitely not worth bringing up.
