You work hard, meet your deadlines and make nice with the higher ups, but it hasn't been enough to secure that promotion. Are there some sneaky behaviors that have made themselves at home in your cubicle and are sabotaging your prospects? From oversharing last night’s drinks-capades to groaning about another meeting alert in your inbox, these are 10 times you may have gotten in the way of your own success.
1 BEING TOO NEGATIVE
Your boss drops another project in your lap and, rather than accept the challenge with at least a modicum of enthusiasm, you immediately start complaining. Sound familiar? If your first reaction when asked to take on new responsibilities is groaning about how this will mean extra work, longer hours, no extra compensation and no praise at the end, you need to rethink your approach. Perhaps you are genuinely overworked and this is the tipping point, or you may not be fostering a can-do attitude.
HOW TO DEAL
A sense of humor is key, according to Lauren Handel Zander, co-founder and chairwoman of the Handel Group, an international life-coaching company. “Realize that the thought is negative and give your trait a nickname,” she says. “For instance, if you’re constantly concerned about germs, you may refer to this trait as ‘Typhoid Mary.’ When a negative germ-thought appears, call it by name.” Try flipping it into something more powerful, telling “Typhoid Mary” to back off because you’re in great health. Channel that negative energy into turning those unexpected new projects into positive opportunities. Recommends Zander: “Take a leadership position on the project, document the project’s successes and highlight them at your next review."
2 BEING TOO RIGID
The idea of staying in your lane is now an outdated one — no one can approach a job as a single-task position anymore. Flexibility and resiliency are key skills that are becoming more and more sought after. According to a study by Right Management in the U.K. called The Flux Report, “In five years’ time, 91 percent of HR decision-makers think it is likely that people will be recruited on their ability to deal with change and uncertainty.” A new generation of multihyphenate, multitasking employees could leave your rigid self behind.
HOW TO DEAL
“Be more OK with uncertainty” may seem like the obvious answer, says John Sandahl, nationally recognized personal and life coach expert and founder of Warrior Team Coaching. Yet we all know it’s not that easy. “To learn to be more fluid takes time, practice and experience, particularly with ‘being uncomfortable,’” he says. “Confidence comes through experience, which means creating opportunities for small sustainable change and, therefore, small wins.” Try practicing small risks with people who you trust. In the meantime, he says, “Many issues can be solved with open and honest communication about work style and needs.” And remember that there are rewards for those with great critical judgment skills — as long as they don’t fall prey to the blind spot of being inflexible and hard to work with.
3 BEING OVERCOMPETITIVE
Healthy competition can be great in the workforce: It energizes some, propels others to achieve and creates a dynamic, energetic environment. But a nasty competitive streak can also quickly turn things toxic.
HOW TO DEAL
If others’ successes are making you jealous to the point of distraction, try to refocus your goals and evaluate your own contributions objectively. How is your attitude contributing to the environment? Can you feel good about your goals despite what others are doing around you? Assess whether the current work environment is the right one for you.
4 AVOIDING WORK EVENTS
Unless you are in your early twenties, when heading out after work is a given, going to work events after hours is usually a drag. But this is typically where the boss lets her hair down. Do you really want to miss that? Casual conversations at these events are crucial because they could expose a mutual interest or passion. (Try doing that on a 30-second elevator ride, where everyone is looking at their cell phones).
HOW TO DEAL
You don’t need to stay all night and do shots with the IT department, but do make sure you get some face time with your higher-ups. Who knows, maybe they’ll let you in on a position opening or a new project coming down the pipeline that could potentially lead to a promotion.
5 CHRONIC LATENESS
Known for rushing to meetings or missing deadlines? It’s not a good look. Chronic tardiness sends a message that you just don’t respect other people and their time. John Sandahl recognizes that this behavior usually means something else is going on with the individual. “Health issues, trouble at home, lack of training or awareness or, more simply, the person just doesn’t care or feels unconnected to their work or purpose.”
HOW TO DEAL
Take a tip from a life coach like Sandahl and ask yourself some questions about the “purpose” and the “why” of your work. The questions are meant to help you “reassess and perhaps reframe or reconnect to your responsibilities.” If you are constantly missing deadlines, speak to your supervisor about managing expectations. Perhaps the timelines were overzealous when they were created, or maybe you need help prioritizing and managing your time. In general, being open and honest with your boss will lead to less surprises and better communication for everyone.
