On New York radio show Zach Sang & the Gang, Carly Rae Jepsen recently admitted rather sheepishly that she wrote a song about "...it rhymes with contemplation" for her new album E•MO•TION, but within five minutes told co-writer Bonnie McKee, "'You know this isn't making my album right?" Jepsen seemed to think it obvious that—even in 2015—recording a song about female masturbation would be taboo. But evidence suggests this isn’t the case at all. In 2015 alone, we’ve seen two singles released by women in music that focus specifically on solo sex—one musician completely new to the industry and the other a celebrated performer with decades of experience—as well as the continued success of a monstrous hit from 2014.
In addition to spanning a variety of genres and eras, the songs on this list illustrate the many ways self-sex can enhance women’s lives. To some, masturbation is an erotic form of foreplay; to others, it’s a more defiant act of self love and self care. Some sing of a "you" that they’re missing, some of a "you" that they’re glad to be rid of, and some of no "you" at all.
1. Hailee Steinfeld: "Love Myself" (2015)
I'm gonna put my body first
And love me so hard 'til it hurts
Last month, teen actress Hailee Steinfeld released "Love Myself", where she sings about what she can do all on her own, "without you." Incorporating the traditional language of the sex anthem, "Love Myself" directs it inward.
2. Macy Gray: "B.O.B." (2015)
Macy Gray’s latest is an ode to vibrators. The video features dancing phalluses, and Gray genders her vibrator as "he," in this tribute to our battery-operated friends.
3. Nicki Minaj: "Feeling Myself" [ft. Beyoncé] (2014)
Bitch, never left but I'm back at it, and I'm feelin' myself, jack rabbit
Feelin' myself, back off, cause I'm feelin' myself, jack off
He be thinking about me when he whacks off, wax on? Wax off
A standout from The Pinkprint, this song helped imbue the phrase “feeling myself” with a more literal meaning. By juxtaposing the titular refrain with an image of a man masturbating to thoughts of her, Nicki takes control of the sexual situation and her own self-image.
4. Charli XCX: "Body of My Own" (2014)
'Cause I can make it feel just like I'm hanging on
Yeah I can do it better when I'm all alone
Here, in classic Charli XCX fashion, she brags how she can do it better herself.
5. FKA twigs: "Kicks" (2014)
Tell me what do I do when you're not here? I get my kicks like you.
In this absurdly sexy song off LP1, twigs looks for an answer to her loneliness over the course of five breathless minutes.
6. Kelly Rowland: "Feeling Me Right Now" (2011)
If feeling her ain't right, then I guess I'm way too wrong
Cause can't nobody match this loving, yeah, yeah, yeah
Rowland folds the traditional "found love in the club" narrative in on itself as she details a hot and heavy evening spent with the most important person in her life—herself.
7. Pink: "Fingers" (2006)
When it’s late at night and you’re fast asleep
I let my fingers do the walking
"Fingers", a bonus song off Pink’s 2006 album I’m Not Dead, gained notoriety due to its candor. Here, masturbation is used as evidence for a sexually unsatisfying relationship; touching herself is one of the lengths she has gone to in order to curb her frustration—not exactly celebratory.
8. The Pussycat Dolls: "I Don't Need a Man" (2005)
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Though it was their worst-performing American single, peaking at 93 on theBillboard Hot 100, the Pussycat Dolls' "I Don’t Need a Man" is another valuable addition to the canon. Not only is "I Don’t Need a Man" defiant and super catchy, it also treats masturbation as something wholly unrelated to sex with a partner.
9. Britney Spears: "Touch of My Hand" (2003)
I’m all in my skin and I’m not gonna wait
Many of us care as much about Britney Spears’ wellbeing as we do our own, and on "Touch of My Hand", off 2003’s In the Zone, she sings of being "into myself in the most precious way."
10. Tweet: "Oops (Oh My)" [ft. Missy Elliott] (2002)
I was looking so good I couldn't reject myself
I was feeling so good I had to touch myself
This song was a certified hit, reaching #7on the Billboard Hot 100 and claiming the Number 1 spot on the Billboard R&B and Hip Hop chart. It’s fully self-focused—with no mention of a partner anywhere in the song.
11. Tori Amos: "Icicle" (1994)
Getting off
Getting off
While they're all downstairs
Singing prayers
"Icicle" invokes metaphors of spring rebirth and borrows heavily from Biblical language about Creation to challenge traditional notions of spirituality, as only Tori can. And does.
12. Divinyls: "I Touch Myself" (1990)
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself
Abandoning euphemism, the lyrics pose masturbation as the ultimate form of flattery.
13. Cyndi Lauper: "She Bop" (1984)
Hey, hey they say I better get a chaperone
Because I can't stop messin' with the danger zone
Cyndi Lauper’s 1984 hit single "She Bop" is perhaps the broadest reaching, most universally recognized entry on this list. The song was subtle enough to be played on mainstream radio and had lyrics that made it accessible to teenage girls (and boys), as the narrator spends her nights wistfully imagining bodies in "tight blue jeans in the pages of a Blue Boy magazine."
