HERE ARE THE REASONS WOMEN ARE SO EMOTIONAL

If you’ve ever been annoyed by how emotional women can be, you’re not alone. But you will never escape our moodiness and here’s why.

I’ll be the first to admit women are ridiculously emotional. Countless times, I have completely broken down. Sobbing about something not worth my time to worry about!

Any sad movie in existence has brought me to tears, because I can’t get a grip on my emotions. And this isn’t just me. Tons of women get emotional about things that seem like they’re not even important.

Why are women so emotional – And why all men should give emotional women a break

I used to date somebody *note the used to* who would actually get annoyed when I got emotional about stuff. He would sit there and roll his eyes as tears were streaming from mine.

Guys, you need to cut women some slack here. We can’t actually help that we’re so emotional. Holding back our emotions can often lead to an even bigger freak-out when we do finally let it all out. There are scientific reasons behind our emotions. We have no control over how we react to certain things.

We can all blame biology for women being so emotional

As I mentioned, there are many reasons for why women are so emotional and many of them aren’t in our control. Some of them may have been caused by the way our parents raised us and others can be helped with therapy, but some can never be changed.

I like that women are so emotional. While our teary-eyed outbursts may annoy men, I think it makes us more human. Science says women show their emotions more than men, and these are the reasons we can’t seem to hold back our emotions.

#1 We were raised to be. I was raised in a big family with a lot of siblings. I can tell you I’m a very emotional person. I was raised to always think about other people no matter what you do, because my actions affect other people.

This led me to be a lot more empathetic because I was raised to think of others which definitely makes me more emotional. However, if a woman was raised in a family valuing their own progression and self-success, she might not be as emotional. 

#2 Hormones. It’s not a myth that women get much more emotional around the time of their period. This part of PMS is extremely irritating to even us. I can look at a puppy and just start weeping because it’s so cute.

Estrogen is the hormone responsible for causing a women’s emotions to fluctuate as we gear up for our period. This hormone is released in different amounts prior to our period and when there’s a lot of estrogen surging through us, we can feel anxious and tense, but when those levels drop down again, we can feel depressed.

#3 We’re insecure. With all of the societal pressure put on woman to be perfect, look amazing, and be something that is just not realistic, women develop a lot of self-esteem issues we try to hide.

But we can’t hide them forever and the anxiety and fear we feel will eventually come out in the form of a big explosion. The bad part, our boyfriends can say only one little thing, setting us off if these feelings have been brewing for a long time. We often won’t admit the reason we got so mad is because we feel insecure. 

#4 We experienced a traumatic event. This is another reason some women might blow up about something seemingly insignificant to you. AKA, you’ll think she’s gone crazy and is being way too emotional when there is a reason behind her being so upset.

Sometimes, we may have experienced a traumatic event that is so bad that even just the mention of something related to it can cause us to flip out. An example of this is cheating. Some women freak out about the fact you are staying late at work, because that’s what her ex said when he cheated on her.

#5 It’s in our nature to be empathetic. Women have always been the caretakers in society for as long as stories have been handed down. They cooked, cleaned, looked after the children, and made sure everyone was safe while their husbands were away.

This made women very empathetic to those around them. They can’t help being so emotional because it’s how we were made and how we evolved. So good luck changing that.

#6 Our instincts make us respond in certain ways. I’ll let you in on a little secret you may not have known before: Women are badass creatures. It’s our instincts making us this way and drive us to respond to threats in different ways.

Our motherly instinct specifically makes us act crazy any time we feel our family or children are in any danger. This may not seem like it makes sense, but if you’ve ever made a sly comment about our family members and noticed how much we freak out and get emotional about it, now you understand why.

#7 It’s more socially acceptable for women to show their emotions. What if I told you girls actually aren’t more emotional than men, besides when we’re PMSing? You might not want to believe it because you want to protect your macho man status, but it’s true.

Studies of men’s brain activity show they are more emotional. But they do a better job of shielding their emotions from the world. No doubt due to societal expectations of what makes a man.

#8 Our morals can cause us to feel emotion differently. Some people don’t have very good morals. And by good, they have a different opinion as to what is wrong and right in the world.

Those who have higher morals and believe people should treat each other a certain way can feel more empathy than those not sharing those same morals. Maybe women are so emotional because we believe in different things than men do. 

#9 We use our brains more. If you don’t know the anatomy of the brain and what it’s responsible for, you’re probably scratching your head at this one, and may even be slightly offended, if you’re a guy. But men and women actually use different sides of their brain more than the other.

Men tend to use the left side—that’s responsible for logical thinking—more than the right side. Women have a stronger corpus callosum—the part connecting both hemispheres of the brain—and can use both sides more efficiently. This actually leads to women perceiving a situation in more depth.

If women understand more of the situation and see it from more perspectives, we get more emotional based on what we’re viewing, allowing us to be more empathetic.

#10 Some women have mental illnesses. Did you know women are 40% more likely to suffer from mental illnesses than men are? When you think your woman is just being really emotional, she could be having a mental illness episode. It could also be she doesn’t know she has a mental illness causing her emotions to fluctuate so much. 

While you may think women are simply being emotional to get attention or to be dramatic, there is a lot of scientific evidence that suggests otherwise. The next time you’re wondering why are women so emotional, cut us some slack and just remember these things!

Take Note Of These 10 Signs of an Emotional Manipulator

We all know what it feels like to be emotionally manipulated. It can be extremely effective, which is why some unscrupulous individuals do it so much.

A few years ago, Facebook, in conjunction with researchers from Cornell and the University of California, conducted an experiment in which they intentionally played with the emotions of 689,000 users by manipulating their feeds so that some users only saw negative stories while others only saw positive stories. Sure enough, when these people posted their own updates, they were greatly influenced by the mood of the posts they’d been shown.

Facebook caught a lot of flak over the experiment, primarily because none of the “participants” gave their consent to join the study. Perhaps more frightening than Facebook’s faux pas was just how easily people’s emotions were manipulated. After all, if Facebook can manipulate your emotions just by tweaking your newsfeed, imagine how much easier this is for a real, live person who knows your weaknesses and triggers. A skilled emotional manipulator can destroy your self-esteem and even make you question your sanity.

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It’s precisely because emotional manipulation can be so destructive that it’s important for you to recognize it in your own life. It’s not as easy as you might think, because emotional manipulators are typically very skillful. They start out with subtle manipulation and raise the stakes over time, so slowly that you don’t even realize it’s happening. Fortunately, emotional manipulators are easy enough to spot if you know what to look for.

1. They undermine your faith in your grasp of reality.

 Emotional manipulators are incredibly skilled liars. They insist an incident didn’t happen when it did, and they insist they did or said something when they didn’t. The trouble is they’re so good at it that you end up questioning your own sanity. To insist that whatever caused the problem is a figment of your imagination is an extremely powerful way of getting out of trouble.

2. Their actions don’t match their words. 

Emotional manipulators will tell you what you want to hear, but their actions are another story. They pledge their support, but, when it comes time to follow through, they act as though your requests are entirely unreasonable. They tell you how lucky they are to know you, and then act as though you’re a burden. This is just another way of undermining your belief in your own sanity. They make you question reality as you see it and mold your perception according to what is convenient to them.

3. They are experts at doling out guilt. 

Emotional manipulators are masters at leveraging your guilt to their advantage. If you bring up something that’s bothering you, they make you feel guilty for mentioning it. If you don’t, they make you feel guilty for keeping it to yourself and stewing on it. When you’re dealing with emotional manipulators, whatever you do is wrong, and, no matter what problems the two of you are having, they’re your fault.

4. They claim the role of the victim. 

When it comes to emotional manipulators, nothing is ever their fault. No matter what they do -- or fail to do -- it’s someone else’s fault. Someone else made them do it -- and, usually, it’s you. If you get mad or upset, it’s your fault for having unreasonable expectations; if they get mad, it’s your fault for upsetting them. Emotional manipulators don’t take accountability for anything.

5. They are too much, too soon. 

Whether it’s a personal relationship or a business relationship, emotional manipulators always seem to skip a few steps. They share too much too soon -- and expect the same from you. They portray vulnerability and sensitivity, but it’s a ruse. The charade is intended to make you feel “special” for being let into their inner circle, but it’s also intended to make you feel not just sorry for them but also responsible for their feelings.

6. They are an emotional black hole. 

Whatever emotional manipulators are feeling, they’re geniuses at sucking everyone around them into those emotions. If they’re in a bad mood, everyone around them knows it. But that’s not the worst part: they’re so skillful that, not only is everyone aware of their mood, they feel it too. This creates a tendency for people to feel responsible for the manipulator’s moods and obliged to fix them.

7. They eagerly agree to help -- and maybe even volunteer -- then act like a martyr. 

An initial eagerness to help swiftly morphs into sighs, groans and suggestions that whatever they agreed to do is a huge burden. And, if you shine a spotlight on that reluctance, they’ll turn it around on you, assuring you that, of course, they want to help and that you’re just being paranoid. The goal? To make you feel guilty, indebted and maybe even crazy.

8. They always one-up you. 

No matter what problems you may have, emotional manipulators have it worse. They undermine the legitimacy of your complaints by reminding you that their problems are more serious. The message? You have no reason to complain, so shut the heck up.

9. They know all your buttons and don’t hesitate to push them. 

Emotional manipulators know your weak spots, and they’re quick to use that knowledge against you. If you’re insecure about your weight, they comment on what you eat or the way your clothes fit; if you’re worried about an upcoming presentation, they point out how intimidating and judgmental the attendees are. Their awareness of your emotions is off the charts, but they use it to manipulate you, not to make you feel better.

Overcoming Manipulation

Emotional manipulators drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it -- their behavior truly goes against reason, so why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix?

The more irrational and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps. Quit trying to beat them at their own game. Distance yourself from them emotionally, and approach your interactions with them like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink if you prefer that analogy). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos -- only the facts.

Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it’s happening. Sometimes you’ll find yourself in situations where you’ll need to regroup and choose the best way forward. This is fine, and you shouldn’t be afraid to buy yourself some time to do so.

Most people feel as though because they work or live with someone, they have no way to control the chaos. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Once you’ve identified a manipulator, you’ll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when and where you don’t. You can establish boundaries, but you’ll have to do so consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you’re bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. If you set boundaries and decide when and where you’ll engage a difficult person, you can control much of the chaos. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep boundaries in place when the person tries to cross them, which they will.

Bringing It All Together

Emotional manipulators can undermine your sense of who you are and even make you doubt your own sanity. Remember: Nobody can manipulate you without your consent and cooperation.

A version of this article appeared on TalentSmart.