I know you will be wondering how come we know guys are actually thinking about a woman's jeans sometimes but the truth is they do. Below are some of those thoughts:
1. “Hey, those are definitely jeans!”Guys may not know much about every type of jean, but they know how to spot a pair of jeans when they see them. It’s like spiders. They’re very distinct and even if you can’t name every single species of spider, you still get it.
2. “Those are some tight jeans.” The only thing better than seeing a lady in a pair of jeans is seeing a lady in a tight pair of jeans. We can’t help it, we like it, but we have to wonder ... can you breathe? And if we are lucky enough to be with you, your jeans, and nothing else one night, will we physically have the strength to shimmy them off without looking like an idiot?
3. “Those are some short jeans.” Here’s the thing: Men like short jeans. They like tight jeans. We don’t need to discuss why. But when you get jeans that are so tight, and so short that instead of appreciation, a man’s initial reaction is to question how those are even possible to get on ... those jeans are too short.
4. “Now those … those jeans are practical jeans.” Sometimes, we see a pair of jeans and we think to ourselves, That pair of jeans seems like it had mobility in mind.
5. “Wow, what a crazy color for jeans!” Men don’t typically get a lot of options in terms of jean colors. So when we see a fun color like green or pink, we get very jealous. As it stands, the typical male jean colors are blue, black, gray, and beige. But if guys had our pick and could have any color jeans we wanted, we’d probably pick colors like blue, black, gray, and beige. So I guess that explains everything.
6. “Hey, is that selvage denim?” This is only a thing that a guy can think about your jeans if he knows what ‘selvage denim’ is in the first place. And if he’s bringing up selvage denim as a topic of conversation, he’s either really, really, really into jeans or you’ve run out of things to talk about.
7. “Man, I thought those were jeans, but it turns out they’re jeggings. Pretty tricky.” As a man, it sucks leaning in to take a closer look at a pair of jeans only to find out it’s a different fabric altogether. This is what many people refer to as “false advertising.”
8. “I wonder if those jeans came distressed or if she just does a lot of physical activity.” There are two kinds of people in this world: people who buy ripped jeans, and the kind of people who rip their own jeans after buying them to make it look like they buy their jeans pre-ripped.
9. "At what point do they stop becoming ’distressed jeans’ and start becoming ’loose pieces of fabric’?"Why take a pair of jeans that’s so shredded it barely even constitutes pants and put them on? Why not just wear jean shorts at that point?
9. “Jeans were originally designed for cowboys and miners and those low-waisted jeans don’t look practical for either.” It just seems like jeans got away from what made them great in the first place: a thick layer of protection against rattlesnakes and tunnel monsters. It’s not like modern jeans are bad or anything, it’s just that I think jeans need to get back to their roots.
10. “I don’t want you to think I’m sexist. It’s 2016. Women can be cowboys and miners too.” To be clear, it’s not that I assume a woman in jeans isn’t a cowboy or miner, it’s just that odds are anyone wearing jeans isn’t either. Besides, those are industries that are shrinking at alarming rates. Cattle are so domesticated that herding them is effectively automated, and there are only so many things we can pull from the earth; mining is definitely a field with an expiration date. And don’t even get me started on fracking.
11. “Seriously, I didn’t mean to make it a big deal." Honestly, some of my best friends are cowboys and miners.
