When we think of a mean girl, we can't help but picture Regina George. But unlike study halls and homework, many of us didn't get to leave the "mean girl" at our alma mater. Some of us still have to pass her in our office hallways—or worse, we are her.
"To tell the truth, the office mean girl isn't so far off from Regina George," says Jill Jacinto, millennial career expert and associate communications director for WORKS. "They tend to operate in cliques, focus on the gossip, pass the blame, dump their work on others, and are quick to tease or make someone feel uncomfortable."
That doesn't sound like someone you want to be, we know. But some habits are hard to kick, and you might not realize that you've become that girl from nine to five. So do a gut-check with these nine signs to see if you need to have a Cady Heron-like revelation.
1. You reject others' ideas. Just like Regina George shut down Gretchen Weiners' attempts to make "fetch" happen, you're not letting your coworkers' ideas fly—and you bully everyone into agreeing with what you think is cool. But beating everyone into submission at your weekly meeting isn't an effective work tactic. The next time you want to push your way into winning, force yourself to listen and acknowledge the value in others' ideas instead, says award-winning life coach Stacia Piece. And if your idea doesn't pan out, don't take it personally. "Keep a cooperative attitude and be a team player," she says.
2. You run with a clique. You've got a work squad: You grab coffee, eat lunch, gab at the water cooler, and partner up for presentations with the same group of gals. Every. Single. Day. "Deep down, you might not be the mean girl," says Jacinto. "But your exclusive club is making people feel like there are on the outside looking in." As much fun as it is to have work besties, it's best for you to branch out. "You'll advance at work by creating relationships with everyone, not just four people," says Jacinto.
3. Other workers avoid you. Look around: Are people (metaphorically) lining up to bend your ear, or do they back away when they see you walk toward their desk? "Mean girls have a short list with whom they commiserate," says Karen Elizaga, executive coach and author of Find Your Sweet Spot. And like a bully, "they are unapproachable," she says. "To overcome this mean girl habit, be open to cultivating positive relationships with everyone around you, rather than maintaining distance."
4. You live for toxic talk. You don't get your work high from nailing a presentation or even earning your boss' favor. What gets your motor running, rather, is the rush you feel when you engage in gossip about your coworkers. "If you’re always seeking out office gossip to later use against your target, you’re definitely a mean girl," says Pierce. The next time someone comes to you with a salacious story, "excuse yourself from the conversation so that you’re less tempted to pass on negative news," she suggests. And better yet, make the choice to be the bearer of good news next time.
5. You give the cold shoulder. It's one thing to be a natural introvert, but it's quite another to actively ignore your coworkers. "Do you acknowledge their hard work or respond to their emails?" asks Jacinto. If not, you could be the mean girl. So learn to make small talk with those around you, Jacinto suggests, and show appreciation for the hard work they do. "And absolutely never ignore an email," she says. "That will toss you in the mean girl bin—and claiming you never saw it doesn’t hold water."
6. You're generous with the bad. One of the best ways to build up your team is to catch them doing good work. But mean girls take notice only when someone screws up—and they're quick to point it out to others. Like, with a megaphone. If you want to impulsively shout from the roof tops when a coworker drops the ball, keep quiet until you have something good to say. "Be generous with praise and gratitude," says Elizaga, "and say out loud what you appreciate about others' work."
7. You're secretly sabotaging the competition. You know your work rival needed to be at that Very Important Thing at 3 p.m. sharp, but when you give her the memo, you slyly say she should swing by at 3:15 p.m. But screwing up your colleague's schedule so that you can shine is classic work mean girl behavior, Pierce warns. "You don’t have to put other people down to stand out," she says. "Instead of directing your attention to your competition, work on self-improvement and empowerment. You’ll feel better, and less tempted to sabotage another person."
8. You point the finger. So you forgot that report was due today. But instead of owning your mistake, you play the blame game: Your partner was responsible to hit "send," you say. And that's a very quick way to make yourself look bad, even to your boss. So, "instead, own up to your mistakes," says Jacinto. "Bosses like employees who they can trust and who create solutions and don’t add negative fuel to the fire."
9. You judge appearances. As Elizaga reminds us, "Regina George and her minions made snap judgments and let people in—or staved them—off based on what they looked like and what they were wearing." If you brought this high school-like habit into work—even unconsciously—by judging coworkers based on appearances, you might be a mean girl. Instead, "accept others based on their character, integrity and the value they bring to your work place," says Elizaga, "not their attire and jewelry."
