My friend—let's call her Amy—is seriously sad about being single. She's spent many a night bemoaning just how bad it stinks to go to bed alone when she'd willingly trade her beloved purse collection to sleep beside a cover hog. As someone who sometimes disliked being single myself, I totally get the instinct to feel down—but that's not how I want my friend or any single lady to feel! So I recently challenged her to view her temporary singledom in a brighter light: She should be damn proud her high standards kept her from settling down with, say, the know-it-all who belittled her beer choice on their first date. If you find yourself in my friend Amy's shoes, I'd encourage you to also take pride in your single status—especially if it's for one of these six reasons.
1. You refuse to settle. Like my friend Amy, the fact that you want to be with someone doesn't mean you'll settle for anyone. You want a man who makes your heart skip a beat, who makes you laugh and feel happy just to be around him—and you're willing to wait for him.
2. You left a toxic relationship. Maybe you could have a plus-one—if you were willing to put up with name-calling, score-keeping, and ghosting. But you know being single is way better than being with a man who makes you feel less-than.
3. You're focusing on your career. For years, another friend—we'll call her Morgan—was content to casually date but never settle down because she was determined to make it in her field, and that meant picking up and moving—often, and across the country. Now she's ready to seriously date, with zero regrets.
4. You're learning about yourself. Some of us have lost ourselves in relationships and marriages. When they end, we're left wondering who we were before "I" became "we." It's a noble act to focus on finding yourself and your happiness once more before welcoming another man into your life.
5. You're still discovering what you want from a man. As my mother says, "Dating is a lot like shopping: You're supposed to try on different shapes and styles. Otherwise, how do you know what fits best?" Staying single to find who and what works best for you, I think, is smart. (It's also a different way to avoid settling!)
6. You're busy loving your life. Packing your schedule with things that make you happy deep in your soul—dinner dates with friends, solo travel, art classes, volunteer work, whatever!—means, metaphorically, you've baked your life into a really delicious cake. And any man lucky enough to wiggle his way into your schedule will be the best buttercream icing.
