How To Be Joyful Being A Single: 20 Over-exaggerated Things In Relationships

There is a lot of pressure for people to be in relationships. And sometimes, people feel weird being single. But here’s how to be happy alone.

What’s the old double standard? A single 45-year-old-man is a bachelor and happily single. But a woman of the same age is just a crazy cat lady who couldn’t get a man. Right? Wrong.

It’s sad that our society puts so much pressure on us to be in a relationship or even married. And let’s face it – even men get judged if they are single for too long. People may think he is gay, or some other ridiculous reason. So it’s hard for singles out there sometimes.

But fear not. If you want to know how to be happy alone, there are plenty of reasons to enjoy being single!

20 things to focus on when learning how to be happy alone

If you’re single, you should stop sucking your thumb in the corner and feeling sorry for yourself. Embrace being single! It’s really fun, and once you know how to be happy alone, you’ll wonder why you ever wanted a relationship to begin with. Here are some tips for how to be happy alone.

#1 You can be selfish. It’s not cool for people to be selfish in the grand scheme of things. In fact, parents try to socialize kids out of being selfish. But what I mean here is that you can do whatever you want whenever you want! You can do whatever you please, and so go ahead and be self-indulgent sometimes. 

#2 You get to make all your financial decisions. Feel like buying a new car just because you’re sick of the one you have? Go for it! You’re single! You don’t have anyone to answer to. You have no one saying, “What? We can’t afford that!” If you want it, buy it. How cool is that?

#3 You don’t have anyone that gets mad at you. Let’s face it – most relationships include conflict. And pretty much no one likes conflict. So when you’re single, you don’t have a significant other to start any fights. You can live in peace and not have the constant stress of bickering with your partner.

#4 You don’t have to check in with anyone about your whereabouts. Working late? No problem. Want to go to happy hour after work? Bottoms up! You don’t have to call anyone to ask “permission” or even to check in and let them know where you are and that you are safe. You can go anywhere, so embrace it! 

#5 You can be spontaneous. When you’re part of a couple, you have to sync your schedules. And because of that, you can’t decide to take a spontaneous road trip whenever you want. But if you’re single, you can. In fact, you can do anything at a moment’s notice if you want to.

#6 You can feel sorry for people who don’t have these advantages. Even though it seems like most people want to be in a relationship, let’s face it, many people are secretly envious of single people *for all the reasons mentioned in this feature*. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself because you’re single, feel sorry for people who have a ball-and-chain they’re tied down to. 

#7 You can learn about yourself. When you are coupled up, you don’t have a lot of time to explore yourself. You are so busy doing things with them that you don’t have time to discover who you are and what you like. So, if you want to know how to be happy alone, remember this huge benefit.

#8 You can make new friends. Many people who are in a relationship don’t get out much. If they do, it’s with each other. So how can you possibly meet new people if you are always hanging out with your significant other? Exactly. Being single gives you time to go find cool new friends.

#9 You can reconnect with old friends. Not only do you not have time to make new friends when you’re romantically committed, you have likely ignored some of the friends you already have. Not that you don’t talk to them, but just not as often. So, pick up that phone and make some arrangements to hang out with your old friends.

#10 You can decorate your house however you want. Have you always wanted a pink bedroom with flowers everywhere? Or if you’re a guy, you want white walls with not a thing on them? Great! Do whatever you want. Why? Because you can. No more cringing when your partner wants to do something hideous to the place where you live.

#11 You can travel alone. Okay, some people don’t like to travel alone. But if you do, then this is another perk! Maybe you’re an extrovert who loves meeting new people. Go on a cruise, take a singles’ trip, or just go wherever you want. Again, no need to compromise.

#12 You don’t get annoyed. We’ve all been there. Even though most relationships start out blissfully, eventually, we find our partner annoying in some ways. And the worse the relationship gets, the more we notice how annoying they are. But guess what? You don’t need to put up with anyone else anymore. Yay!

#13 You can work on your career aspirations. Another thing to remember about learning how to be happy alone is that you can focus on your career. If you’re a workaholic, then be a workaholic. No one is waiting for you to come home to eat dinner with them. Climb that corporate ladder. 

#14 You can be unrealistic. Have you always wanted to start a restaurant? Backpack through Europe and find odd places to work? A significant other would likely talk you out of that because they would think it’s unrealistic. But if you are the only one to answer to, then by all means, be unrealistic if you want.

#15 You can flirt with people without anyone getting jealous. If you go to a party or out to a bar with your friends, you can be a social butterfly and flirt with everyone you meet without a jealous lover giving you the evil eye across the room. Flirting is great for your self-esteem, and now you can do it whenever you want.

#16 You can become more self-reliant. This may not sound like a tip for learning how to be happy alone, but bear with me. Whether you have to learn to fix something around your house or sew on a button, it’s great to learn to do something by yourself. That way, you don’t have to depend on other people if you don’t want to.

#17 You can avoid a bad relationship. There is nothing worse than being in a bad relationship. Well, sure, I guess there is. But you know what I mean. You don’t have to be constantly stressed out and negative if you’re single. Because if you’re single, that means you’re not in a bad relationship. Right? 

#18 You don’t feel guilty about anything. All of the things I mentioned above… buying a new car, staying at work late, taking a spontaneous trip… they all come guilt-free. No one will make you feel guilty but yourself – but I don’t suggest that.

#19 You get the bed all to yourself. While some people love to snuggle with someone as they sleep, if you’re not one of them, then you get to hog the bed. Rejoice in all the space you have! There is no one snoring loudly, or moving around and constantly waking you up. You’ll sleep like a baby. 

#20 You can help break society’s stereotypes. The stereotype of a single person isn’t always a good one. But go ahead and show the world that you know how to be happy alone. Not only do you know how, you absolutely love it! Eventually, people will stop judging singles and just mind their own business.

If you want to know how to be happy alone, these tips will help you. So, are you ready to embrace being single? Go for it! You’ll learn to love it.

Why You Need To Be So Proud That You Are Single

My friend—let's call her Amy—is seriously sad about being single. She's spent many a night bemoaning just how bad it stinks to go to bed alone when she'd willingly trade her beloved purse collection to sleep beside a cover hog. As someone who sometimes disliked being single myself, I totally get the instinct to feel down—but that's not how I want my friend or any single lady to feel! So I recently challenged her to view her temporary singledom in a brighter light: She should be damn proud her high standards kept her from settling down with, say, the know-it-all who belittled her beer choice on their first date. If you find yourself in my friend Amy's shoes, I'd encourage you to also take pride in your single status—especially if it's for one of these six reasons.

1. You refuse to settle. Like my friend Amy, the fact that you want to be with someone doesn't mean you'll settle for anyone. You want a man who makes your heart skip a beat, who makes you laugh and feel happy just to be around him—and you're willing to wait for him.

2. You left a toxic relationship. Maybe you could have a plus-one—if you were willing to put up with name-calling, score-keeping, and ghosting. But you know being single is way better than being with a man who makes you feel less-than.

3. You're focusing on your career. For years, another friend—we'll call her Morgan—was content to casually date but never settle down because she was determined to make it in her field, and that meant picking up and moving—often, and across the country. Now she's ready to seriously date, with zero regrets.

4. You're learning about yourself. Some of us have lost ourselves in relationships and marriages. When they end, we're left wondering who we were before "I" became "we." It's a noble act to focus on finding yourself and your happiness once more before welcoming another man into your life.

5. You're still discovering what you want from a man. As my mother says, "Dating is a lot like shopping: You're supposed to try on different shapes and styles. Otherwise, how do you know what fits best?" Staying single to find who and what works best for you, I think, is smart. (It's also a different way to avoid settling!)

6. You're busy loving your life. Packing your schedule with things that make you happy deep in your soul—dinner dates with friends, solo travel, art classes, volunteer work, whatever!—means, metaphorically, you've baked your life into a really delicious cake. And any man lucky enough to wiggle his way into your schedule will be the best buttercream icing.

Here Is Why You Are Still Single: Your Self-Esteem is Too Much

Having trouble figuring out how someone as AWESOME as you is still single? Here’s a tip: Get over yourself. 

New research finds that Millennials have grown up with such an emphasis on self love that they might have missed the memo on how to love others. 

We’ve been so focused on building up our own self-esteems that we completely bypassed the part of growing up where we would’ve developed the skills necessary for being in a relationship. 

In her book “Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled—and More Miserable Than Ever Before,” Jean Twenge, PhD, compares Millennials to other generations and explains that Millennials (those born between 1982 and 1999) have grown up through the “self-esteem movement.” 

Basically, we were raised to be a self-loving, “army of one.” And I mean, it makes sense, right? 

I doubt you can tell me your kindergarten teacher never taught you that you were special no matter what anyone says or that your mom never told you to just “be yourself” no matter what anyone else thinks.

 Heck, I’ve even written a million articles encouraging Millennials to fall in love with themselves before they fall in love with anyone else.

 But according to Caitlin Cantor, LCSW, CST, for Psychology Today, this “army of one” mentality is really us being “skilled at being alone,” and it’s probably affecting our dating lives as a result. 

You can imagine how being a total pro at being alone would get in the way of the whole “not being alone” thing, when it comes to dating. 

And totally unsurprisingly, relational skills are a lot more important for relationships than individual skills (something else we Millennials have a lot of).

 What are some examples of relational skills that we suck at using? Connecting with people no matter how similar to or different they are, caring what other people think about you (because it DOES matter, even though Mom told you it doesn’t) without taking it personally. 

And, relying on other people because —BELIEVE IT OR NOT— you are not a completely self-sufficient human being.

 Without these skills, Cantor explains that Millennials tend to find pesky little things like “closeness, connection, vulnerability and intimacy” pretty hard. 

 Embracing all of those things in a relationship requires relational skills that we weren’t taught. 

To be honest, I’m surprised anyone finds any of those things enjoyable. So I think it’s safe to say Twenge’s findings are probably pretty accurate. 

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the most single of them all? We Millennials are. And it’s because we won’t put down the damn mirror.