How to Stay This Whole Summer Without Wearing Any Bra

Of the few things that rank above whipping your bra off at the end of the day in Satisfaction Points™, not wearing an underwire at all has to come out near the top. Here, some advice for how anyone can go free-boobing this summer—even those of us who were born without fashion-girl chests.









CHOOSE A THICKER FABRIC

Eliminates the need for nipple covers; still provides some support, emotional and otherwise. You could do a solid-colored knit like Olivia Newton-John here, but for extra coverage, go for a stripe or other print.


OR STRUCTURE
The jacket-with-nothing-underneath thing is so chic and so flattering. If you're not keen on having to deal with fashion tape, though, just put on a bandeau—you still get the skin and the braless-ness, but with just a bit less *movement,* if you know what I mean.

OR A ~DISTRACTING~ NECKLINE
Have you ever seen an ugly sternum? Didn't think so. This is why, if you're going to show anything, it should include the area between your boobs. Go loose enough with a U-neckline top like Kendall's or even just an unbuttoned-to-there shirt and you definitely won't need a bra, no matter how big/ungainly you think you are.

OR JUST OBSCURE EVERYTHING WITH AN EXTRA LAYER
Doesn't have to be a bomber—something silky and robe-y works well for the summer.

GO DEEP WITH THE ARMHOLES
It's simple optics: The more boob strategically shown, the less boob there must (conceivably) be. For that, the chic-girl version of a bro tank does just fine: The neckline should be cut low, the armholes should dip enough for some side-boob, and the whole effect should be breezy.

OR LOOSE, LOOSE, LOOSE
As long as you've got some shoulder/clavicle action, you're good.


OR A BOOB VALANCE
A huge ruffle hiding everything works too.

OR BOOB SCAFFOLDING
Boob *fence*? In any case, the laces provide the architecture that holds them in place while simultaneously advertising them. Perfect.

Here Are 16 Things A Woman Does That Are So Satisfactory As Removing Her Bra

1. Cracking your back. Feeling fully straightened out + the addictive popping sounds = one insanely satisfying experience.

2. Taking your hair out of a tight ponytail after a long day. For added comfort, run your hands through your hair and massage your scalp. Ahhhhh.

3. Jumping into a cold pool on a hot day. Soooo refreshing.

4. The first time you wear a brand-new sweatshirt. If you could afford to buy new sweatshirts every day instead of washing and re-wearing your old ones, you straight-up would. 

5. Putting on clothes straight out of the dryer. This is the only reason you get out of bed sometimes, tbh.

6. Removing your contacts at the end of the day. Your poor, dry eyeballs can finally breathe, and it's such a relief. 

7. Taking off uncomfortable shoes. When you kick off your heels at the end of homecoming, you can literally feel the bones in your feet rearranging back to their usual formation.

8. Sharing a pint of ice cream with a friend. A moment of silence for that moment when you're like, "Do we even bother with bowls...?" and she's like, "Nah, let's just eat out of the container." This is pure, comfortable friendship bliss. 

9. A Snapchat from your crush. You've never grabbed your phone so fast in your entire life. 

10. That first bite of food when you're starving. That bite is usually followed by an inhuman noise that can only be transcribed as, "Urghhhnnfffffmnarfthisissogood." 

11. A good grade on a test you thought you failed. Somehow, this is way more electrifying than acing a test you really studied for. All your worries about your tanking GPA are lifted and you can finally relax. 

12. Waking up to find out that school is canceled for a snow day. Because it's a snow day, you can stay inside and wear sweatpants and not even bother with a bra.

13. When you finally sneeze. FINALLY. 

14. Finding a $10 bill in your pocket. Huzzah! 

15. The final bell before school lets out for summer. School is your bra in this metaphor... and you are your boobs. Sorry, is that metaphor too much?