Read The Stories Of Women Sharing What It's Like to Date an Ex

Even when you know there was a good reason you and your ex broke up, that reason can become difficult to remember when you're looking into each other's eyes and laughing at inside jokes. Maybe that's why almost half of people have slept with their exes. But is it worth it to get back into a relationship, or will you just experience the same heartache all over again?

We got a few women to reveal what happened when they got back together with exes—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and it looks like it can really go either way. Here are some of their most telling stories:





"I did the classic long-distance thing my first year of college. My boyfriend and I broke up during the summer following freshman year. We got back together days later. We were each other's first loves and were too devastated to stay broken up. Then we broke up for good a few months later. I don't regret the long distance at all, even though it's a cliché. Most of the relationship was wonderful and worth it. That is, all except those last few months when we had gotten back together. Those sucked because I think we both knew it wasn't going to work. I still don't regret it, though, because I think if we hadn't gotten back together I would always have wondered if it could have worked out if we'd tried again." —Ellen, 25


"We didn't see each other for a while after breaking up. Then we had drinks and ended up having sex. I hadn't had sex in months, and I thought he was the only person I could be with (I don't know why I thought that). Then I saw in his Instagram that he was seeing somebody else, and suddenly I realized I wanted to be with him again. We got back together for a few months, and it was a disaster. Terrible idea. Now I feel so dumb for going back just because of insecurities and jealousy." —Alejandra, 31

"So many exes. Lots of rekindling. There's a reason they're exes. Leopards don't change their stripes. You kind of convince yourself that a remaining connection means more than it actually does. Like it's supposed to work out if people are still attracted to each other, but that's not the case. It usually unfolds in exactly the same way." —Jenny, 34

"I met Matt online when I was 25 and new to New York City. He was nice and smart and husband material, but I wasn't looking for a husband. When I broke up with him after about two months, I asked him to stay in my life as a friend. We were friends—with benefits—until I got partying out of my system and was ready to get married. We both dated other people—I even set him up once! But eventually we got married . Now we have two kids and live in the 'burbs." —Jen, 39

"I broke up with the last guy [I dated] a total of three times. Both times I took him back, I knew he wasn't good for me. I didn't even really like him that much anymore and knew my friends wouldn't approve... but I felt like I owed him the chance for some reason. The first time, he had just gotten fired from his job. The other time was a few months later, after a two-month split. It took another six months for me to realize my self-worth and leave him for good. I'm sure some of our problems were my fault, but in retrospect, he was incredibly emotionally abusive and had a way of making me feel like I owed him something, even when I hated how I felt around him. We've been broken up for seven months now, and I feel completely emotionally stable." —Nina, 31

"We broke up two times after our first breakup—for the same reasons. I don't think it was a mistake, as we had some really nice times when we got back together. But it ended the same way and just took up more of my life. I learned that it's important to get closure. We just stopped speaking when we first broke up, so getting closure the last time we split was really good. I didn't realize it was missing until I had it." —Amanda, 27

Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? Do you regret it?

Every Married Person Should Do At Least Once These 18 Intimate Things in Their Lifetime

No flame burns forever, and the same goes for love. The busyness of modern life has deprived many couples of time together, let alone moments for extra intimacy. Passion and sexual tension need to be reignited regularly to keep love strong and growing. See the following 16 things you can do as a couple to increase intimacy and your desire for each other.

1. Shower together

A shower in itself is a very personal act. It is a daily routine that is undergone in one’s own privacy. To shower together is to break down this barrier of private space and get closer to each other. As you lather each other with foam, you re-learn about each other’s body—the curves, the shapes and where it tickles. A shower together can be very intimate and relaxing, or full of sexual tension, or both.

2. Have sex in a public place

It could be in a secluded corner in a park, in your own backyard, or anywhere where you won’t get caught easily. Make it a shared adventure, but do be smart about it. This could either be the most exciting thing ever, or the worst disaster!

Risk level: High

3. Go ice skating together

Holding hands, slipping on ice, and falling down together can be pretty romantic, too. Make some silly moves, race each other, show off some swirling skills or your ability to skate backwards. Go back to being like young teenagers in love. Have great fun helping each other up, pulling each other down and sharing in laughter.

4. Involve food in foreplay

The trick is to try something new while keeping it clean and manageable. Use fruits, such as strawberry, banana, mango, pomegranate, peach, etc., and syrups such as chocolate fudge, maple syrup and honey. And of course, whipped cream. Just remember to lay down some towels beforehand so that the sheets don’t get dirty.

5. Watch porn together

Don’t be shy about it! Use porn to teach each other what you’d like to have done to you, and what you’ll like to do to your partner. It’s a chance to get to know more about each other’s secret fantasies and previously unknown preferences or fetishes. Also, you don’t need to go to the book store for a copy of the Kama Sutra now. You’re welcome!

6. Have a beach getaway together

The beach, the sun, the sand, and the clear waters. Help each other with the sunblock lotion. Have a nice little picnic under the trees. Get a beautiful tan together. Go frolic in the blue sea when it gets too hot. Roll around in the powdery white sand. You can rekindle a lot of love by spending alone time in a natural setting, enjoying each other’s company.

7. Give each other a massage

Massage helps to relax the body by relieving tension in the muscles. It is best to do this for your partner after he or she has had a hard day at work. Giving a massage is a loving act that shows that you are understanding and giving towards your partner.

Light some scented candles or use some aromatherapy oil. Play some soft music in the background. It doesn’t have to take a long time. A 10 to 20 minute session will be able to win every bit of your partner’s heart.

8. Help each other shave

This requires a great amount of trust, but it can help to build trust between two people, too. Let your partner teach you if you don’t already know. Be patient with each other.

9. Cook a meal together

Enjoy the process of planning a meal and cooking it together. It takes cooperation and communication. Both of you share the labor and also the fruits of it. Share your family stories while you cook.

If you want to spice things up a bit, you could try cooking naked—by wearing just aprons with nothing else underneath.

10. Shop for underwear and lingerie for each other

Who doesn’t love presents? Surprise your partner with a new pair of undies today. You don’t even have to go to an actual store. Shop online! You’ll be surprised by the huge range of choices. But before that, ask your partner what he or she likes—the colors, the designs, the brands, etc.—so you won’t have too difficult a time deciding what to purchase. You could also try something extra kinky like lacy tops, thongs or certain sexy accessories

11. Bondage

It doesn’t have to be complicated. For starters, a blindfold and whatever works to bind the hands, such as a men’s tie or women’s leggings, will suffice. For the more “advanced” or more adventurous couples, you can buy real handcuffs and other locks or straps from adult toy stores. In any case, safety first! (You can also add #4 to this.)

12. Go camping together

Camping can provide a really good way to increase intimacy for couples who both love nature. It is a sweet escape for those who are tired of the city life and all its hustle and bustle. Being closer to nature allows the rejuvenation of the mind. Think of the cool, fresh air, the silence and calmness, and the endless amount of space that nature offers.

Find yourselves a safe and adequate camping site. Learn to work together to set up a good, sturdy tent for yourselves. And what’s more romantic than melting marshmallows over campfire and star gazing side by side? You could end your night with an intimate time inside your tent or out in the open. With this, you check off #2 of this list, too!

Again, safety first: notify your family or one or two of your good friends of your whereabouts. Choose a campsite or an area that is well visited by other travelers and does not have a huge track record of animal attacks. It is best that the place is not so secluded that you can’t get internet or reception on your cell phones.

13. Book a room at a hotel (or a motel)

Many of us are too tied down by our work commitments or school schedules to be able to go on multiple holidays throughout the year. Most of us only have the year end to travel and go for a vacation with our loved ones.

But you could change things up a bit. Book a nice hotel room as a surprise for your partner. It can be just be a random Friday night out, a celebration for a promotion, a birthday or an anniversary, or a simple gesture of love for your partner. He or she will definitely appreciate your move.

For the more adventurous couples, you can try going to a motel for the night for an extra sense of spontaneity and risk.

14. Take a long, hot bath together (with champagne of course!)

Because it is sexy, and you know you want to. (You can combine it with #13.)

15. Roleplay

Especially convenient when it’s Halloween season.

16. Pen erotic writings for each other

Move over, sexting! Erotic writing could be the next big thing for couples in love. Seeing how the Fifty Shades Of Grey series has become such a bestseller worldwide, it comes to us as no surprise how personal erotic writings could be a good way of communicating to your partner in a subtle but still sexy manner. Reveal to each other your secret fantasies and yearnings. This could work really well for couples who are in a long distance relationship. Use secret pet names for each other. Be unreserved with your imagination.

17 Challenges Every Women Who Share a Bed With a Man Has To Deal With

Maybe one of the biggest tests of a relationship's strength is how well you two can successfully share a bed. Say what you will, but it really seems to me like beds were made for one person. Except for maybe king-size beds, which are basically big enough that you can share them without even realizing it. That's the ideal situation.

1. I am not going to let you spoon me all night long. I don't get how anyone finds this comfortable for more than five minutes before feeling like they're trapped in a sweaty arm prison of their own making.

2. I have a side of the bed and there is no way you are taking it from me. It is this side, and yes, it's better, and no, you can't have it, because my body shape is already permanently indented over here and what if you screw that up?

3. You absolutely cannot sleep on my very cute decorative pillows. I have regular pillows, pillow shams, and then some decorative pillows I paid way too much money for. You may sleep on the regular pillow and that is all.

4. I'm blown away by how many stray little man hairs I find left behind when you get up. I think guys might actually shed more than girls do because it's seriously astonishing. I could make a wig.

5. I know what you're trying to say when you "accidentally" poke me with your boner. I feel that thing back there, rubbing up ever so carefully against my back. Put it away! There are more polite ways to ask to have sex! Like using words!

6. I'm not in for a night-long tug o' war with these covers. If you pull these off me and I wake up freezing at 3 a.m. there will be hell to pay.

7. If you start snoring, I might start slapping you in the face. You know that lying on your back makes you snore. Maybe just don't lie on your back. Problem solved!

8. Your body goes underneath the flat sheet. Why do men have such a hard time with the flat sheet? It goes directly on top of your body, and it is nice and soft, which is why I have it on my bed in the first place. Stop lying on top of this thing because that traps me underneath it.

9. If we're cozy enough to share a bed, we're cozy enough to kiss with morning breath when we wake up. Don't rush out of bed and brush your teeth and then leave me alone with my slovenly troll morning breath. We're better than this.

10. I like taking up the entire bed just as much as you do, but I'm not rude so I won't do that. You do not get to starfish in my bed. If anyone can, it's me and me only.

11. It feels like your body literally transforms into a radiator when you fall asleep. You were a normal temperature during the day but now it suddenly feels like you're radiating 1,000 degrees of heat in my little bed and oh my god, I'm sweating so much, how do you live with yourself.

12. If you wake me up before my alarm, I am going to turn into a monster for the rest of the day. If you wake up first, that is fine. But please. Please. Be mindful and don't wake me up super-early.

13. Sharing a bed does not equal endless sex throughout the night. Nighttime is when I sleep. This doesn't change just because you are sleeping over.

14. I don't get why you're putting your face on my pillow when you have your own. Nothing more terrifying than waking up to someone's face in your face, even if that other face belongs to someone you like.

15. I will absolutely push and roll you over if you encroach on my space. You haven't even seen me get territorial yet. Just try me.

21 Things You Should Not Overlook When Dating a Highly Sensitive Person

Being a highly sensitive person is not a weakness or a curse, and when dating one of these caring souls, it’s important to keep these pointers in mind.

The highly sensitive person makes one of the most passionate and caring lovers in the world. Since they are so in-tune with others and deeply empathetic, they always treat their loved ones with respect and devotion.

A highly sensitive person has a difficult time trying to function in a world that feels incredibly overwhelming. Sometimes they feel misunderstood. All they really want in a love relationship is to find someone who understands and respects their sensitivity.

Dating a highly sensitive person – 20 things you can’t ignore

Some people are under the misconception that “highly sensitive” means weak. This couldn’t be further from the truth. These people face a barrage of stimuli daily that others simply do not. It can be incredibly exhausting and overwhelming on any given day.

Dating a highly sensitive person is both a roller coaster and a wonderful adventure, depending on how you look at it. If you nurture and understand your highly sensitive partner, they reward you with passionate love and fierce loyalty.

When dating a highly sensitive person, keep the following things in mind.

#1 They are constantly feeling. A highly sensitive person is not equipped with an on/off switch for their feelings. They constantly feel, and most often, they feel what others are feeling.

Imagine picking up the signals of everyone else’s moods depending on who you are in contact with on any given day. That’s what a highly sensitive person experiences all the time.

#2 They can be moody. Since highly sensitive people are so affected by the emotions and moods of others, they can be prone to mood swings themselves. It’s not uncommon for them to wake up in a great mood, only to visit a negative parent or deal with a rude cashier, and come home feeling angry or depressed.

It’s best to understand it’s usually not you that caused them to feel this way, but others in their daily environment.

#3 They can be indecisive. A highly sensitive person weighs out risk versus reward and contemplates all the possible consequences of an action before making any decisions. This seems wishy-washy or indecisive. Really, they just have more analytical minds and are incredibly hard on themselves when they make a bad decision.

Therefore, they do not usually like to be rushed or pressured into doing something until they have thought it through completely. 

#4 They have emotional reactions to life. Since highly sensitive people feel things so deeply all the time, they see the world through a lens of their emotions. While their mind is deeply logical and analytical, when it comes to personal matters, they react first with their emotions and then think about it after.

#5 They are more prone to bring out the waterworks. Having emotional reactions to life, also means sensitive people find it hard to keep a poker face when they are hurt or stressed. Crying often can be a natural release for the pent-up emotions. They are not being dramatic to gain attention or sympathy, they simply can’t help crying to help themselves feel better. 

#6 They might struggle with depression or anxiety. Since these people are constantly swept up into the moods and feelings of others, they can be prone to depression or anxiety.

Imagine never knowing if you are actually sad, or if you are picking up the sadness of a lonely friend or relative. The onslaught of constant feelings that they face every day makes them anxious and afraid to leave the house, for fear of picking up these overwhelming emotions.

#7 They can be hard on themselves. Highly sensitive people can be incredibly hard on themselves when they make mistakes or wrong decisions. Even though they forgive and are sympathetic to a fault towards other, they are their own biggest critic, and aim for perfection in all that they do.

#8 People are drawn to them. It’s not uncommon for these people to attract all sorts of strangers that all seem to want to vent their problems or gain advice. Highly sensitive people have an aura of compassion and understanding, and that makes others want to flock around them. 

#9 They are in tune with their surroundings. These people are maddeningly observant. They notice the fine details everywhere, in a way that others don’t. They are very aware of what goes on around them, including facial expressions and body language of other people, and usually sense when someone in the room is angry, lonely, or upset.

#10 They are great listeners. Highly sensitive people are such people magnets because they mastered the art of listening. They know how to make anyone feel heard, and therefore, people pour their hearts out to them. 

#11 They put themselves in your shoes. A highly sensitive person really understands what you go through, even if they aren’t going through the same thing themselves. They are born with an innate empathy, and truly feel the pain of others.

#12 They give great advice. Highly sensitive people are natural advisers because they listen carefully and empathize with your situation. They won’t tell you something for the hell of it, because they truly want to help.

#13 They are attuned to their own body. These people carry around a lot of extra emotional baggage, and they are also physically sensitive to their environment. They need exercise, plenty of rest, and a healthy diet to feel balanced.

#14 They get easily overwhelmed. It sometimes feel like the weight of the world is on their shoulders, causing sensitive people to act out or withdraw in order to regain clarity and peace.

#15 They need frequent periods of alone time. Since these people are so easily overwhelmed by long periods of time spent with others, they frequently need periods of alone time. To recharge their batteries and get back to feeling normal. Give them time to process their feelings, and they’ll be super appreciative of having such an understanding partner. 

#16 They have natural intuition. Highly sensitive people have a natural intuition. They know if they like a person right away, or if they get a bad feeling about them. They also sometimes avoid a bad scenario when their intuition kicks in with a warning sign.

#17 They are hurt by real world problems. These people are profoundly affected by bad news, negativity, and the problems that affect the world today. They literally feel the pain and anguish of the world and can’t handle watching violence or torture on TV.

#18 Drawn to spiritual practices. These people dabble in all kinds of spiritual practices. They might enjoy learning about folk religions, Wicca, or shamanism. They respect all spiritual beliefs, and usually expect that you respect their spirituality as well, as it can sometimes be a big part of their life.

#19 They love deeply. Highly sensitive people love deeply and completely. They are not the type to deceive or hurt someone they love, because they would only hurt themselves just as much. If you are loved by them, you will know. 

#20 They forgive but won’t forget. Since highly sensitive people are so sensitive and emotional, when they are hurt, they likely won’t soon forget it. They are gracious enough to forgive someone, but they won’t dare to put themselves in the same situation again.

Dating a highly sensitive person can be a deeply rewarding experience, if you keep these things in mind. These people are capable of deep love, but get on their bad side, and you might never see that loving side again.

How My Marriage Almost Ended In Divorce Just One Year Into Marriage

"So…how's married life?"

I hate this question. It requires me to be quick on my feet and always have pre-rehearsed answers at the ready. After a picture-perfect wedding, I'd been embarrassed to admit to others (and myself) how difficult married life had been. These innocent inquiries felt torturous; they were a constant reminder of the perfect life I had envisioned the moment we exchanged vows. My husband and I were struggling, and if I didn't find methods to resurrect the relationship that had me excitedly accepting his proposal, we would be headed towards divorce after less than a year of marriage.






To be clear, I love my husband. We share a wonderful life together in Manhattan and I am in no way looking to demean marriage. What I would like to put a stop to, however, is the idea that that the first year of marriage is a couple's "honeymoon phase." It's not always sexy, and it's not easy. We didn't regret our decision to spend our lives together, but the smiling photos of us and our newlywed friends on Facebook didn't match up to our reality.

Our story started like many metropolitan love stories. I moved to New York from San Francisco at 24 for a career in the fashion industry after ending a five-year relationship. I was ready for a fresh start and had heard epically exciting stories about the dating scene in New York (read: I had watched every episode of Sex and the City–multiple times). After a string of dates and failed short-term relationships, I met JP at an industry event and we immediately hit it off. His charming demeanor, undeniable spirit and most of all, his sincere attentiveness to every word I said, was endearing.

From the beginning, JP and I have always had a super easy going, fun and adventurous relationship. We barely ever argued; if we did, it was a grocery store pseudo-brawl about organic eggs versus cage free. Our romance started off as the best kind of effortless and easy connection–the type of thing you read about, not actually ever think you will ever experience. We had a natural connection that was unforced and went on the kind of dates that made us forget everyone else existed. We had great sex and memorable conversations that still make us laugh to this day–there was no doubt we were falling hard in love with each other.

I have always been the social type, but JP was a home body, comfortable staying in and Netflixing on a Friday night. I was Carrie Bradshaw wanting to go to the opening of Bungalow 8; he was Aiden, more than happy to stay at home with a bucket of chicken. In our dating years, this disparity never bothered us. We made it work; we compromised.

Eventually, we moved in together. Manhattan was not the kind of city where I could afford to pay rent in an apartment I never slept in. But, unlike I'd imagined it would be, our decision to live together wasn't romantic, it was a logical and matter-of-fact. Gone was the hope of JP proposing the idea and my swooning as we held hands and apartment hunted through Manhattan. Living together made sense; after two years of dating we shared a 500 square-foot river view apartment and officially ticked the box of the "next stage" in our relationship.

I'm not quite sure where we lost our way, but our once tradition of walking through the door and embracing into a little slow dance turned into not even saying hello or goodbye to one another. Small arguments about cleaning, laundry and how much clothing I owned ensued as date nights waned. We were spending lots of time together but quality time was heavily lacking. I understood that relationships went through ups and downs, but as the arguing continued I feared it would break us. If we couldn't get through living together, we likely couldn't handle much else.

We came to the conclusion that our problems started and would end with our tiny studio apartment, so we moved into a large one bedroom. We started reinstating our cute traditions; handwritten Post-it love notes reappeared in secret hidden places all over the apartment and our relationship felt like it was slowly crawling back into the light.

The author and her husband at their engagement party.


JP proposed to me in Grand Central following the most intricate scavenger hunt around the city, with clues hidden only in places we had been on dates. There were even clues hidden deep inside folds of books in the New York Public Library–he put so much thought into it and the moment was perfect. I knew I was incredibly lucky to have found this amazing man who loved me for everything that I am and as much as I could be.

Our plans to get married in a Catholic church required us to complete Pre Cana, pre marriage counseling, to ensure we were discussing the issues that more often than not, lead to divorce. We discussed finances, family, in-laws, personalities, anger issues and general checks and balances. Getting married at 30 had me confident that I was more equipped to handle married life than a 20-something bride. I wasn't expecting to ride off into the sunset and I wasn't expecting a fairytale. Not thinking we needed Pre Cana but being required to do it made me all the more sure we were prepared for marriage–after two years living together and four years of dating, we already felt like a married couple.

Wedding planning was treacherous and overwhelming; and a year's worth of organizing was the perfect distraction and excuse. I forked up any bickering to planning stress and dove deep into coordinating my custom dress, tablescapes and favors without considering that a perfect wedding does not equate to a perfect marriage. Months after our wedding, I found myself looking through our gorgeous photos and re-watching our wedding video over and over, hoping to recapture those genuine emotions. What was this "honeymoon stage" everyone spoke of? I fought off emptiness with a full social feed; a quick scroll through my Facebook or Instagram account and you would never imagine that the adorable couple pictured would be the one whose relationship was disintegrating with each and every post.

About six months into being husband and wife, it felt like I was failing at marriage. We had so quickly lost what I thought was a solid foundation. I knew I had a man who loved me and whom I loved in return, but our interactions felt monotonous and passionless. We were nothing like the 'frolicking into the sunset' honeymoon photos I was posting.

I have a rather dominant personality, and it unintentionally set the tone for our relationship. When we were dating, JP never resisted my suggestions, the way I lived my life, the decisions I made, how I acted–it was as if nothing I ever did bothered him. Now, it was beginning to feel as though everything I did got under his skin–and vice-versa. Our conversations turned from discussing goals, passions and pursuing dreams to the quality of the weather; we were basically roommates.

Talking about it didn't seem to make much of a difference–we weren't really listening to one another. I decided to go out with friends more and travel often in hopes of getting some perspective. The more time I spent away, I realized that our once-agreeable nature had come to a head; the subjects we once labeled as mainstays like my affinity for nights out, obsession with travel and his more low-key lifestyle were bubbling over in any marital argument that arose.

Rather than truly listen to each other's deep-seated needs early on, we both assumed the novelty of our husband and wife titles would smooth over any problems we'd encounter. We were living our lives by a socially-acceptable timeline (meet, date, fall in love, move in, get engaged, get married, get a dog, buy a house, have children…) without coming to terms with what was best for us as a couple and as individuals. Rather than speak our minds, we put on happy faces. Going from "me" to "we" seemed simple enough, but after getting married, it became a balancing act of finding our individual independence within our family unit.

After a week spent together in the Hamptons, we decided it was best to separate. I was an overachiever in every aspect, and my life felt as though it was falling apart; I never imagined that I would be 30, newly married and separated. Our approach to our marriage led us to this hurtful place. We took advantage of our marital status and assumed it would protect us from the days where we were too lazy to make an effort or threw out hurtful words during an argument. Spending our first Christmas as a married couple apart was heartbreaking. I wasn't happy in my relationship, but I was miserable without him.

My job as a fashion publicist and consultant is all about putting forth the best version of my clients for public consumption–in person, on social media and in photos. Portraying ideals and a picture perfect life comes naturally to me, and I had no trouble curating a social media campaign for my relationship rather than navigating how to be truly happy in my marriage. Selfies, status updates and news feeds create an underlying narcissism that rears its head when you find yourself updating your accounts while out to dinner with your spouse. But your emoji-ridden "date night!" caption underneath the photo of the molten chocolate cake you're sharing can wait.

As a New Year's resolution, we agreed to go to couple's counseling, where we realized that our life together was derailed by constantly striving for perfection. We were far from it–underneath most of our arguments was my resentment and refusal to give up the freedom and adventure I thought married life required me to relinquish (fun fact: it doesn't) and his frustration about feeling the need to hold back his thoughts and feelings under the guise of compromise. The formality of therapy had us talking, not arguing, and truly expressing emotion; we were opening up and listening to each other's wants and needs. Months later, we are a stronger couple and stronger people individually. Our date nights no longer take place at our therapist's office. Our realization that I was communicating with friends and the internet while he was swallowing emotions and confiding in no one helped us to focus on communicating with one another.

Is it a faux pas to be a newly married couple who isn't beaming with joy? I'll take that chance. Odds are, I'm not alone. I vowed to never again ask another newly married couple how married life is treating them–I know better. The only difference now is that when someone asks me that dreaded question, I can turn to the man holding my hand and share a knowing laugh before I answer.

Natasha is still traveling–with and without JP–follow her escapades on her Instagram @jetset.away and on her blog.

From: Harper's Bazaar

These 12 Things Are What Guys Hate Most About Kissing

Kissing is the foundation of foreplay. Kissing leads to making out, and making out leads to dry humping, which means sex, which means… well, that’s where it ends. But even still, there are some things that can happen during kisses that are less than ideal.

1. Everyone thinks they’re good at it, but not everyone is actually any good.Kissing is a talent, and like a lot of commonplace activities that still require skill (cooking, driving, dancing, etc), people don’t like to admit they might not be that great at it. And they sure as hell don’t want to be told they’re not good at it. So it’s entirely possible that he’s either stuck with someone who isn’t good at kissing OR he’s not good at kissing and no one ever wanted to tell him.

2. Getting a tongue shoved down his throat. Tongue is good. Choking him to death with it? Bad. The goal isn’t to get your tongue as far down his throat as possible. Please be careful.

3. Kissing for way too long. At a certain point, kissing is going to lose his attention. Then his mind wanders to the dirty laundry coating his floor, and then when the last time he washed the shirt he's currently wearing was, then...

4. Chapped lips. If you’re not liberally applying chapstick, it’s like making out with a belt sander.

5. The very real issue of bad breath (yours or his). No one is more cognizant of the state of their breath than single people who could potentially make out with someone new. It’s a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it’s good to know you’re not blasting people in the face with awful breath. A curse because you have to spend a ton on mints and gum.

6. Accidental eskimo kisses. Making out is a delicate dance. If you have the wrong partner, you’re going to smush your noses into each other constantly. It’s like stepping on each other’s toes...but with noses.

7. Getting tangled in your glasses. If one person has glasses, it’s not a big deal. But if two big ol’ four-eyed nerds are making out with each other, those things are going to unceremoniously smack against each other. Take your glasses off (seductively) before making out.

8. Accidentally making out with your hair. If you’ve got long hair, there’s a good chance it’s getting right in the way of your mouths exploring each other. Y’all are about to eat hair.

9. When you don't kiss back. The only thing worse than being outright shut down when he goes in for a kiss is having you just stand there and dead-lip him. So close and yet… so far.

10. Wondering if your eyes are open while his are closed. You close your eyes when you kiss other people. It’s standard. It’s polite. And it’s vulnerable. What if you’re staring at him like a weirdo while he’s kissing and he doesn’t know it? What if he opens his eyes to check, but it turns out your eyes were closed and then you open your eyes and you think he was staring at you the whole time like a weirdo?

22 Ways A Girl Can Charm Her Way Into A Guy's Heart

We all want guys we like to fall head over heels for us, but sometimes it’s more of a challenge. Here’s how to make a guy fall in love with you.

Let me tell you, if you want to know how to make a guy fall in love with you, well, isn’t as hard as you think it is. You’re probably trying to think of the algorithm, but there’s no need. I figured it out after many years of failure.

Just look at all the guys lining up at my door. I’m kidding, it’s just the pizza guy. I know, this is as good as it gets for me – at least he brings me food, right? True love.

Actually, when I was younger, I was handling guys the wrong way. I would stalk them *I still do, just changed it to virtual stalking*. I would constantly message them – I was perfecting the skills of looking creepy.

21 tips for how to make a guy fall in love with you

I learned from my mistakes, and there’s a reason why my first minor relationship was when I was 19-years-old. So, I’m here to help you surpass my amateur ways and get him ooh-ing and ahh-ing over you.

Like I said, there’s no algorithm to it. You just need to put yourself in their shoes.

#1 Don’t get discouraged. Maybe you’ve told him how you felt and he’s rejected you. I know, it hurts. Trust me, I told my best friend I loved him and I was not given an ideal response – it killed me. But listen, this doesn’t mean they don’t feel anything for you.

That also means you shouldn’t tie yourself to him. He could genuinely not be interested in you or there could be other reasons why he won’t come forward with his emotions. Whatever it is, do not lose hope on love, because whether it’s with him or not, you will find it.

#2 Be yourself. I’m going to tell you things you should do, but listen, don’t do any of these things without being genuine. If you’re not yourself and you’re trying to get him to fall in love with you, it’s not going to work.

I mean, sure, you actually might get him to fall for you, but he won’t be falling for the real you. If you don’t like wearing makeup, then don’t wear makeup. If you have a high-paying job, don’t dumb it down so you can look less powerful. Whatever you are, just be you. This is the most important thing to know when learning how to make a guy fall in love with you.

#3 Take care of your appearance. You don’t have to slap on a full face of makeup, but just look clean and presentable. Don’t take this as some sexist comment, it’s not. You want the guy you’re interested in to look clean and put-together as well, right? If you take pride in how you look, this shows that you’re confident – a huge turn on for men.

#4 Have mutual friends. The chances of falling in love when you have mutual friends are much higher. You trust your friends, and the friends that your friends have are usually very similar. Also, people trust their friends. So, if your friends tell him that you’re a great girl, there’s a higher chance for him to initiate something with you.

#5 It’s all in the smile. I know that girls are into mysterious guys. However, for men, it’s completely the opposite. It’s even scientifically proven that smiling increases your attractiveness to the opposite sex.

That being said, don’t do those phony smiles – that’s not fooling anyone. Plus, you look creepy if the smile doesn’t reach the eyes. This one is a pretty easy tip for how to make a guy fall in love with you.

#6 Show kindness. Men are looking for partners who are kind and nurturing. At the end of the day, we’re biologically wired to look for a suitable mate, so they’re subconsciously looking for mother material. Sorry to break the news. So, if you want him to see that you’re caring, show it. Now, don’t become a nun, but you can do something that shows your softer side.

#7 Mirror him. Yeah, who would have thought that this would work. Now, this doesn’t mean to mime him. For example, you can start by walking at the same pace as him. This subconsciously shows that you two are in sync. However, as time passes, you’ll see him matching his pace to yours – a great sign that he’s into you.

#8 Show interest in animals and children. If you want to know how to make a guy fall in love with you, this is a good place to start. But personally, I would show more interest in animals before hitting on the kids topic. I mean, if you love dogs, he’ll get the idea that you’re a nurturing person.

Unless you want kids relatively early, I would ease up on it. Women who own animals are usually seen as better partners, seeing that they have experience taking care of something else other than themselves. 

#9 Get physical. This doesn’t mean hooking up with him on the first date. This just means that you want to limit the amount of light between your bodies when you’re sitting on a park bench. You can tell the difference when friends sit beside each other and when lovers sit beside each other. So, sit close to him because it’ll show that you’re interested and also increase the connection between the two of you.

#10 Get it while it’s hot. Who would have thought that getting a warm drink with the guy you like would increase the attraction between you two? Well, it does. It’s called priming. So, if you get a drink with him, get something warm – it shows that you have a warmer personality.

#11 Be adventurous. Shockingly, there’s a pretty high correlation between sexual arousal and anxiety. So, my suggestion is to take him out of his comfort zone. Go to the amusement park or bungee jumping. Something that’ll spark his adrenaline.

#12 Make it red. You know that red is a sexy color, we all know it is. That being said, men perceive women who wear red as being sexier than those wearing another color. I know black works for any occasion, but maybe it’s time to try on something more striking. Mmmm… red… now that’s how to make a guy fall in love with you.

#13 Fill the void. Okay, that sounded depressing. What I mean by that is most people, when looking for partners, are looking for someone who makes up the qualities that they don’t have. Makes sense, right? It’s all about creating a balance. So, if he’s shy and you’re outgoing, great!

#14 Keep some mystery. Listen, I know you want to tell him how crappy your last relationship was, but how about we save that for the third or fourth date. You can keep some things to yourself. Men find a little mystery to be alluring. You want him to be curious and interested in getting to know more of you.

#15 Let him take the lead. You don’t have to let him take control all the time, but you should let him make some effort. If you’re chasing him, he won’t be appreciating it. So, let him chase you. That’s definitely how to make a guy fall in love with you. 

#16 Patience. You need to have patience. Not just with him, but with life in general. If he’s not responding how you’d like, be patient. That being said, if it’s like a year without the response you want, perhaps back off. Men need a lot of time before making big decisions, so don’t try to push him.

#17 Don’t be jealous. If you want him, you need to calm down with the jealousy. If a girl’s talking to him and you’re glaring at him from across the room, well, it’s not a good look for you. No guy wants a girl who’s a stage 5 clinger. I mean, would you want a guy like that? Exactly.

#18 Be confident. No one wants to be with someone who plays the victim or damsel in distress. You’ve probably heard the word ‘needy’. Let’s keep that word far away from being associated with you. Be confident, and he’ll see it. Love yourself because you don’t need him… you really don’t.

#19 Trustworthy. When men are looking for someone to fall in love with, they want someone they can trust. Same goes for you. So, you need to show him that you’re trustworthy. Of course, he needs to do the same. If he doesn’t trust you, he’ll always be hesitant about what to do with you.

#20 Independence. A guy wants a woman who looks like she doesn’t need him. There’s a reason why there’s that saying that nice guys finish last. They’re too nice and look like they need you. Why do the cocky guys always get the attention? Because they act like they don’t care. Same for you… you’re an independent woman with her own life.

#21 Being captivating. He has to be drawn in by you. Listen, he needs to be able to feel safe and open himself to you. Once he opens up to you, he’s well on his way to falling for you. So, you need to hook him, and you’ll do it after following these tips.

If you want to know how to make a guy fall in love with you, just follow these tips. However, remember, if you want these tips to work, you’re going to have to be yourself. If he’s not interested in the real you, move onto the next guy.